Wow - what a short vacation that was. Yes, I left on vacation yesterday. I'm home today. I had a blast in the hot springs. I may have even gotten hit on by an old man in a Speedo right as the sun set. When I got out I was shivering so hard it made my hands itch. Talk about strange....
....but STRANGE is waking up in the most beautiful, quiet, isolated camp-site around, looking out over the miles and miles of rolling hills and smog-laden cities and thinking to yourself, "I am just not enjoying this." It was like a tsunami wave breaking on Thailand - a heavy wash of depression swept over my entire body while I sat before a Universe state map trying to plan my next move. I had no money, no gas, no company - I had no thrill. The Thrill is gone.
There were moments in the travel that are of mention. You know - when the Reverend travels, freaky shit happens. This was by far the most tame of all my outings, as all freakish occurrences were directly related to your humble narrator acting a fool.
Let me begin with the 2 sorority sisters I followed up to 12,500 feet above sea level. I came out of the restroom, quite dizzy from the height, and saw 2 adorable, round-assed young co-eds complete with the freshman-5 and all heading up the side of the mountain. There was a terrible storm brewing just over the divide and I knew it wasn't safe for them without the escort of a horny older gentleman. It was a gruesome climb which caused my brain to stoke and small bursts of color enveloped my field of vision - however, the top did arrive just as I was sure god-himself (keep in mind, I'm a secularist) was reaching down to push me off the edge of the mountain. I lost the girls during my hallucinatory event, so I had to sort through a variety of other, hotter foreign women to find them. Viola!!! They was trying to take pictures of each other at the 12,500 ft sign. I stumbled in from the left to offer my assistance in creating a photographic moment that they both could share and was met with giggles and indifference. The pic happened and they quickly found their way off the mountain. Then I helped some dude w/ a pic in exchange for one of myself. The storm was just hitting hard (oh yeah, remember the storm?) so I went back to the truck and made my exit. On the way down I began to think my nut-sac was feeling kinda breezy. I looked down and the ole' barn door was swinging WIDE open. Score 1 for embarrassment.
I think I made mention earlier - but we'll move on to another tale of the bizarre: I went to the hot springs to relax. I was also curios about the clientele that would arrive after dark for the clothing optional bathe. I was getting excited when a stream of young couples - or, um, young ladies began to roll in. There were some lookers. Right dusk began to become night, a shaven man in a Speedo swam up and sat next to me. Though I was happy to have a conversational partner, I could tell this guy was trying to play "dirty pool". I was polite but not responsive - so he began to swim around in front of me. I grabbed my water and left him prancing in the steam. The drastic change from 110 degree water to 62 degree night air sent me into shivers so extreme that my palms started itching. It was hell, but I braved the extremes and made it to the truck to change. As I dropped my swim pants the van next to me lit up and about 10 high school girls poured out the side. Does that count as being naked w/ 12 teens girls???
I could go on - but I won't The rest of my tales make me out to be too pimp and wouldn't give all the other guys on this board a chance w/ the ladies.
I don't know what to do with the rest of this week. Maybe ride my cycle or get drunk on Pabst Blue Ribbon brand beer. Maybe I'll do both. This 2 day 1 night vacation was a 17 PBR trip altogether. Pretty light if you ask me.
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