We don't get a whole hell of a lot of rain on the edge of the known universe. Its usually just vacuous. I'd really like to get back behind the wheel of my RSS and hit the intergalactic highway. It gets boring sitting out here, in the middle of fuck-all waving my dick in the solar-wind and sucking down Pabst Blue Ribbon. Don't get me wrong - its great, but routine really bites.
On my last and latest escapade, I realized that I desperately need to find myself a cute lil' travel companion and her cuter lil' friend w/ a low self esteem to travel with. These journeys just aren't real exciting w/ out. So - ladies, consider this an invite for you and your hot friend to ride (the Reverend) down the intergalactic highway in style... ;) (apply here)
Back to the rant - You ever seen The Dukes of Hazzard? The original one that was on TV? Well, remember how stanky that town looked? Kinda a podunk pile of shit in the middle of bum-fucked Egypt.... Well - imagine that town, no Daisy Duke, popping up in a puddle of piss next to a hillbilly's toilet, and you have the edge of the known universe. 'Round here, we go to the bar to forget the men aren't women!
Oh yeah, before I forget, go here to learn great things about the energy crisis and some simple solutions.
Ok, So, I was down at the bar the other day, trying to forget the men weren't women, and just sweatin' down my sac like no other; and there were flies on me and they didn't care that I didn't care they were there - when, all of a sudden, like some strange dream, masked in a haze of space-dust and comet-steam backed by the bright light of the Owl Nebula, way off in the distant sky - a WOMAN walked in the front door. You better bet yer ass that every man there either dropped their drink - or their slumped, drunken bodies instantly hit the floor. It's been an eon since one of 'em stepped into our dank drink-pit. If you listened close enough, you could hear the leathery skin of every man there's prick creak and crackle like a rusty door-hinge as they all simultaneously, albeit slowly, woke up to stand at attention. A sound more disturbing than church. This beautiful gal and her 2 white teeth walked in and gave us all the stare-down. We was like a bunch of slobbering dogs dumbfounded with starvation and drooling. "Pick me, pick me!!!", Aurther the amputee was squealing quietly at the end of the bar. Without a word, lil' missy walked over to me, sensually stared me up and down, winked - then punched me square in the fuckin' nuts!!!!! I think everyone there felt it the same as me as there was not a snort of laughter when I hit the floor.
Turned out the dumb cunt was from the planet Lesbos, sister planet to the tiny island of Lesbos just outside of Greece on Earth.
Hell, everyone knows that all lesbians are from Lesbos.....
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