Time Flies

Have you noticed every year seems a little shorter? You hear people say things like, "Can you believe the year is over?" and, "Where did time go?". At first I believed I was just getting old, and that as that happens time seems to move quicker. You know, I've never been old before so this is all a learning experience for me. Then I started to hear younger adults and even children utter the same words of amazement. This got me curious, so I started to investigate possible causes. I thought the world may be spinning faster,or that we were just a faster paced society. I looked into the idea that peoples' attention spans had just grown shorter. I looked under just about every rock that I could find leaving no turn unstoned - and, in the end I found all these theories too swiss-cheesed. They all seemed to be symptoms of a much larger problem ('ceptin the one about the Earth spinning too fast - that was just a wild hair). I was frustrated - but didn't have the attention span to worry.

Then, this very morning as I sat on my living-room floor in a puddle of stale beer, browsing free clips of pornography - one of those stoned turns hit me like a drunk hit and run driver. The answer to my query lies in Atomic Time. Let me elaborate:

In our increasingly digital and computer reliant day and age most of the world receives its time via an atomic clock. This means that we are tuned into a select few clocks throughout the world and that is there were even a minute discrepancy in the clock's function, it would throw the entire populous who is relying on that clock for its time into an altered time scale. We already know that the atomic clock is only accurate to a certain degree - but that is supposedly astounding tight because of the atomic resonance timing mechanism within. So - right there we are losing 2 nanoseconds per day or one second in 1,400,000 years. Big deal, right? Well, what if - and there are couple of what if's here - what if there was a flaw in the original mathematical and those numbers are not correct? What if there was a flaw in the design of the clock itself causing it to lose larger amounts of time without the notice of its caretakers? What if - here it is - what if there is a malicious force behind the clock who is conspiring to speed up the American productivity by speeding up time??? The faster time goes, the more of a panic the workforce becomes, faster labor, less downtime, more stress... Sound familiar?

This theory is rather young but I feel it has some pre-substantiated factors involved. Just for kicks, keep a good quality quartz clock next to your digital atomic clock and monitor the time difference on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.

Until next rant...